Now it’s not so easy. After meeting all of these amazing people and getting so close to my family it’s extremely difficult for me to say “I can’t wait to go back home.” Especially you loverboy. You and Anyul make this so fucking hard for me. I’m almost dreading the end of the school year because after that it’s graduation, and after graduation it’s college. As much as I want to go home to Florida for college I don’t want to lose you guys.
The thought fucking terrifies me. I know that I’m going to cry my eyes out when I leave. I don’t want to lose you loverboy and the worst thing is I know that we’re going to come to an end. We’ve already half discussed it. I don’t know if I can handle knowing that eventually you’re going to find another girl and do and say all the same things to her that you’re doing and saying to me.
Anyul, you’re my best friend. We live in the same neighborhood. I see you pretty much every single fucking day, even if it’s just for five seconds, it makes a difference. I’m going to miss you like crazy.
Hearing my group of friends up here make plans of hanging out during their college years just makes me so sad because I don’t know if I’ll be here with them. I’m going to miss out on all of these awesome memories and you’re all going to forget about me and I’m going to miss you so much.
Because that’s the way it always is. With old friends back home I miss them and think about them and the memories we’ve had and wonder if they do the same. I’ve only kept in touch with a few but I miss them dearly.
I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to have to make my own decisions. I want to go back to kindergarten and start all over again. I want to relive my childhood one last time. Fuck time. Fuck aging.
Now, it seems like no matter where I live, Georgia or Florida, I’ll be missing a large part of me. I’m never going to be complete. I want things to be simple. Why can’t everyone I love just live in the same area and be happy there? That would make things so much easier for me.